Monthly Archives: November 2011
The Patriots proved last night why we’re the best team in the AFC. I can get into the numbers and make a big deal about how the Jets had the number 1 defense in the league while we had the worst…I can talk about how our rag-tag defense came up with huge turnovers…I can even talk about how we’re #1 in the AFC East now. But instead, here’s Rex Ryan yelling “shut the fuck up” to a fan that told him Belichick owns him. Classy. Ahhhhhh…it feels good to be a Pats fan.
So I’ve been inactive as hell at updating this blog, and for the people that check in often for all of the latest retarded news and sputterings of an asshole (me) I’m sorry. But I do have some good reasons.
Reason #1 – Fuck this weather
I know it’s only mid-November, but any true Bostonian will tell you that after October we start dreading doing just about anything. We have 2 1/2 seasons in Boston, Summer, Winter and about a week of Fall. There’s very little buffer from hoody weather to “holy shit I can’t feel my face” weather. And I freeze in August. So once the temp dipped below 50, I got extremely overwhelmed and layed under the covers every chance I got. Is this a good excuse not to blog? No, but it is a definite reason.
Reason #2 – It was my birthday
I celebrated my 25th birthday this past weekend. I’m quickly creeping up on the age I dread, and to tell you the truth, it kind of depressed me. I spent time trying to forget about it, and did my best not to look at the date, which meant not wanting to update a site that seemed to be counting down to my mid-20s. Plus, I drank excessively and forgot I even had a site for a few days. Happy birthday to me.
Reason #3 – Modern Warfare 3 came out
Yea, I know I’m 25 now. I should probably stop playing video games. And I should definitely stop playing video games as much as I do. But I really don’t even care. I’m from the generation of kids that had console after console while growing up. Nintendo, Sega, Super Nintendo, N64, Playstation, Xbox, and now next gen consoles. Video games have been part of my life since I was 4. I’m not just gonna stop, especially since the games they make now are unbelievable. Modern Warfare 3 is amazing and addicting as hell. If I have to choose between playing MW3 with my buddies or combing through the internet for ridiculous stories to blog about, I’m probably picking up the sticks and popping caps in asses 99/100 times.
Reason #4 – Football and TV in general
You already know about my obsession with football. Maybe now you can see how serious I am. I’ve watched every second I could of football this season, that’s what happens when you do fantasy football with high stakes. So every Thursday, Sunday and Monday I’m glued to the TV rooting for players you’ve probably never heard of. It doesn’t stop there though. My favorite shows are on TV right now, airing new episodes just about every day. Here’s my schedule…
Sunday – Football
Monday – Football/repeat of Dexter
Tuesday – Sons of Anarchy
Wednesday – South Park
Thursday – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia/Football
When it comes down to it, I want to be entertained just as much as you do when you look for articles on this site. These shows are extremely entertaining.
Reason #5 – I’m Lazy
So lazy I stopped writing this article 3 separate times to do absolutely nothing. Fuck it. I’m gonna try my best to update this site more often, but like I said, I have a lot of excuses. Keep reading.
KOIN – Washington County investigators have chosen not to file charges in a disturbing incident involving pictures released on the internet of a Portland-area woman and her boyfriend with a dead horse. The 21-year-old woman told Washington County Sheriff’s Office detectives she wanted to “feel one” with a horse, according to a WCSO incident report. After the horse had been put down and gutted, the woman undressed and crawled inside the carcass of the dead horse and took pictures to prove it. “At some point you in your career you say yeah I’ve seen a lot of bad stuff — you see this kind of picture and you realize maybe you haven’t seen everything, ” said Washington County Sgt. Dave Thompson.
I’m with the Sarge on this one. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, huh? Since I started this site, I’ve come across some pretty crazy stories and tried joking about them in some way. From dolphin sex to guys married to mannequins and sex dolls, I’ve felt like nothing would surprise me if I read about it online. But I’m speechless right now. Really bitch? You’re really gonna strip naked and jump into the carcass of a dead horse? Why? That’s just disgusting. I don’t think this is a sexual thing? Maybe it is. Pretty kinky and foul if it is. I don’t want to know what kind of images pop up on Google if you type in “dead horse porn” but I have a feeling it’s something I’d never be able to unsee, therefore I’m not checking it out. This is one of those stories I just have to shake my head at and chalk it up to this crazy fucked up world we live in and move on.
PS – How do you date this chick? This batshit crazy chick has a boyfriend…meanwhile I can’t get a girl to look at me even if I have a wad of cash stuck in my zipper. Fuck that.