Anonymous Declares War on Orlando

Daily Mail –  A hacking group has ‘declared war’ against an entire city – to protest the arrest of those handing out food to homeless people in a park.  The Anonymous collective has vowed to launch a devastating cyber campaign against Orlando, Florida.  It will shut down ‘city web assets’ and email millions of people across the world asking them to boycott the destination.  Operation Orlando, as the mission has been named, was launched over the city’s treatment of the Food Not Bombs group.  A press release from the group said the city had ‘ignored our warnings, and our generous offer of a cease fire’.  What started as a spat over distributing food without a permit in a park had seemingly escalated, with Mayor Buddy Dyer describing the activists as ‘food terrorists’.  The statement added: ‘On Wednesday last you not only arrested two more people for feeding but you arrested the worldwide President of Food Not Bombs Keith McHenry.  ‘This is a declaration of war. Henceforth there will be no more cease fires, no more attempts to get you to resolve this issue with human decency.’

Look, we all know Anonymous is a group of crazy sons of bitches.  They’ve attacked countless companies, individuals and websites over the years and they’re ruthless.  But they do go by their own set of morals and code, and for that I kinda respect them.  Like, they rarely go after someone unless they really deserve it.  And I think we need this kind of vigilantism to keep these people in check.  Really Orlando?  You’re gonna lock up some people feeding the homeless?  Nah.  Anonymous will absolutely go off on the whole city.  Just chaos all over the internet, taking websites down, all of that.  And as small as that sounds, they really could end up costing the city a lot of money in the long run depending on how long they keep attacking.  Seriously though, Orlando?  You kinda deserve it on this one.

 

Top Scientist Claims Humans Will Encounter Aliens by 2031

HuffingtonPost –  A top Russian astronomer claimed Monday that humans will encounter extraterrestrial life by 2031.  “Life exists on other planets and we will find it within 20 years,” the scientist Andrei Finkelstein said, according to the Interfax News Agency.  The astronomer added that 10 percent of known planets circling suns in the galaxy resemble Earth, making life on such planets highly likely, and that aliens are most likely to resemble humans with two arms, two legs and a head, per Reuters.  Finkelstein made the remarks at the opening of the international symposium called “The Search For Extraterrestrial Intelligence” in St. Petersburg, The Voice Of Russia reported. He says he is convinced based on the fundamental laws of life that life exists throughout the universe.

Way to go out on a limb here, Andrei.  I don’t really think you have to be a top scientist in your field to make a prediction like, “in the next 20 years we’re going to encounter fucking aliens.”  Of course that’s gonna happen.  Honestly, how could it not?  We’re advancing exponentially as a species, our technology will make it happen.  But let’s say we don’t encounter E.T. in 20 years.  Oh well, no one will care if he was wrong, no one will remember that shit.  But if Andrei’s prediction comes through BOOM he looks like a genius.  I’m not buying it.  Way to go out there and make such a bold prediction like this, Nostradamus.

Great…the Pope is on Twitter

Awesome.  You know what this means, right?  We’re never turning back now.  Gone are the days where you could be a terrible Catholic and skip mass for a few Sundays (or Easter’s) and be ignorant to the teachings of the church.  Now we’re gonna have it shoved in our faces through social media sites about how bad we are as Catholics.  I just picture Pope Benedict sitting at his computer like, “Yeah guys, you’re sooooo fucking bad at making it to mass every week I had to set up a Twitter account to remind you.”  Even the Pope has a damn Twitter now.  I don’t see him understanding how to use it though.  Never being able to fit under 140 characters, slash tags that don’t make sense, etc.  But everyone is gonna eat this shit up.  Maybe His Holiness is doing it to look hip?  I don’t know.  All I know is that I feel like I’m gonna end up following him on Twitter.  I don’t want to, I hate Twitter and never even use it.  But I’ll do it anyways because I’m Irish Catholic and we grudgingly do what we’re told no matter what.  Damnit.

Cheick Kongo KOs Pat Barry in Most Exciting Finish in MMA History

This is seriously the most amazing comeback I’ve ever witnessed in mixed martial arts.  Kongo was knocked OUT on two separate occasions.  I mean, he showed enough defense that the ref didn’t stop the fight, but his lights were out.  He was on autopilot for sure.  Which makes this knockout even more impressive.  Gets rocked twice and has the fortitude to get his bearings enough to knock Barry out.  You can see Kongo’s legs barely underneath him when he lands that uppercut.  This is why MMA will always be more exciting than boxing to me.  The excitement is unmatched.

PS – Pretty sure Kongo is a cyborg.

Mac From “It’s Always Sunny…” Gains 50 lbs. Because It’s Funny

I fucking love Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Everything about that show is perfect to me.  And Rob McElhenney, the actor who plays Mac, has gained fifty pounds for the role.  Why you may ask?  Because it’s funny.  Yup.  I really have a feeling this has the possibility to make for some really funny stuff for the show.  True dedication on Rob’s part.  He knew that it would be hilarious to gain 50 pounds and play a vain guy that talks about himself all the time.  I applaud you, sir!  All in the name of comedy, am I right?

Boston Mob Boss Whitey Bulger Arrested

CNN – James “Whitey” Bulger, an alleged Boston organized crime boss who was on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted fugitive list, has been captured. He had been on the run since 1995.  Bulger, who was taken into custody with his longtime girlfriend Catherine Elizabeth Greig, will make a first appearance in court Thursday, the FBI said.  The pair was arrested without incident from a residence in Santa Monica, California, on Wednesday. Authorities credited a new publicity campaign for the tips that led them to the fugitives.  On Tuesday, the FBI began airing a 30-second public service announcement centered on Greig, who allegedly fled with Bulger and was wanted for harboring a fugitive. The FBI bought approximately 350 spots in 14 U.S. cities.  Greig is 60, and the FBI says the public service announcement ran on shows that appeal to female viewers in that age group.  The public service announcement listed some of Greig’s distinguishing characteristics: such as the fact she loves dogs and other animals, she goes to beauty salons, she worked as a dental hygienist and likes to maintain her teeth, and she has had multiple plastic surgeries.  Bulger, 81, allegedly ran the Winter Hill Gang in Boston and was indicted in connection with 19 slayings. The FBI put Bulger on its most wanted list in 1999 and had a special task force devoted to locating him.  There have been appeals for help to the public before and there is a $2 million reward being offered, which is the largest sum offered for someone on the FBI’s Top Ten domestic fugitive list.  Before the arrest, the last confirmed sighting of Bulger and his girlfriend was in London in 2002.

Never thought I’d live to see the day that Whitey Bulger was found, let alone arrested.  In Southie, he’s notorious, and people talk about him more like a was a ghost than a mob boss around here.  That’s why I never thought he’d be seen alive, let alone in the States.  Figured he was found a long time ago and offed or something like that.  But sure enough, he’s been living it up in Cali with his girlfriend.  This guy was responsible for multiple murders and single-handedly flooded Boston with drugs.  He was on the lamb for 16 years and how does he get caught?  They nab his girl with PSAs.  That’s gotta be tough huh?  Being so hard to catch that the only way they could do it was get the trail on your old lady?  Lesson learned to all you future mob bosses, don’t bring any extra baggage with you, if you know what I mean.

Thought Your High School Was Retarded? Meet Palm Beach County…

Sun-Sentinel –  The Palm Beach County School Board on Wednesday will vote on whether to fire five employees, including a principal accused of stealing furniture from her school, a janitor caught naked in a school storage room and a female reading teacher who is accused of having sex with an 18-year-old student.  Juan Rivera-Ortiz, 54, of Lake Worth, is one of several employees who could get axed by the board’s vote.  According to a district report, on Nov. 30, 2010, an assistant principal heard a noise in the orchestra strings storage room at Bak Middle School of the Arts in West Palm Beach and went to investigate. She found Rivera-Ortiz, a custodial foreman at the school, naked in the storage room, according to the report. It does not disclose what Rivera-Ortiz was doing inside the storage room.  Rivera-Ortiz has worked for the district since September of 2000. A check of Rivera-Ortiz’s criminal record did not reveal any criminal convictions. Rivera-Ortiz could not be reached for comment on Tuesday.  The board will also vote on a recommendation to fire Priscilla Maloney, the former principal of Plumosa Elementary School in Delray Beach.  Maloney, 49, took over as principal of the school but was removed last year after a district investigation alleged that she stole a saxophone, a projector, a laptop and about $14,000 in furniture from her school. A district investigative report alleged that Maloney gave the furniture to another district employee, former Area Director of School Accountability Delorisa Brown, to be used at her business, Brown’s Funeral Home in Lantana.  Brown resigned earlier this year and Maloney, who worked for the district since 1994, was arrested on theft charges. The district is also recommending firing 29-year-old Palm Beach Central High School reading teacher Susan Keppers, whom the district report alleges had a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old student in January, as well as a bus driver caught using his cell phone while driving a school bus and a mechanic accused of sexual harassment.  The district is also voting on recommendations to expel 11 students for charges ranging from possessing brass knuckles, BB guns and drugs in schools, to fighting and assaulting school employees.

 

Well, it looks like my high school didn’t suck as bad as this one.  And that’s pretty surprising because I thought my teachers were psycho.  At least I didn’t have to deal with a kleptomaniac principal, a naked janitor, a creepy mechanic and a reckless bus driver.  I wouldn’t have minded dealing with that reading teacher though.  I was always good at English, her mind woulda been blownnnn.  Seriously though, have you ever seen a crazier assembly of misfits in one school?  Your principal is throwing desks in her Prius for a friend, the janitor is playing orchestra strings with his dick in the closet, the mechanic is asking if any girls need their tires rotated, and kids are getting molested instead of reading Gatsby.  Not only that, but you got a good population of kids roaming the halls with brass knuckles and guns, pushing drugs out of their lockers and shit.  I gotta say, these faculty members have the right idea.  What do you do when your students are fucking retarded?  Get retarded with them!

Ronald McDonald’s First Commercial Ever Will Make You Shit Your Pants

Wow.  That was fucking creepy, no?  Did this fuckin clown just say he likes to do everything little boys and girls do?  Jesus Christ.  And what the hell was he wearing?  A cup for a nose?  A box of food for a hat?  It looks like this pedophile clown hopped out of a McDonald’s trash can and found a camera crew.  Just creepiness on every possible level.  Makes me glad they don’t put this freak in commercials anymore.

Lacrosse Announcer Raps Notorious B.I.G. After Goal

I fucking love it.  I’ve never been entertained by lacrosse, it just doesn’t do it for me.  But if this announcer was calling every game I’d be a huge fan.  I’m talking LAX Bro status.  I mean, where do you see some stuffy announcer straight up SPIT some “Big Poppa” after a goal?  Nowhere.  ESPN needs to call this guy up.  Just techniques drippin out the buttcheeks.

Neighbor Makes Man Pick Up Dog Shit Bare Handed

Awesome stuff.  I mean, just complete surprise attack.  I don’t even think this old man realizes what just happened to him.  One minute his dog is popping a squat and he thinks he’s gonna be able to get outta there undetected.  Next thing he he knows he’s got a camera shoved in his face while being questioned like he was in LA Noire.  Still, he did what he should have…deny, deny, deny.  What’s this guys video gonna prove?  Your dog shit?  Come on, what’s gonna happen to him?  Instead of telling the pussy behind the camera to fuck off, he gets pressured into scooping that fresh, steamy shit off the grass and walks away with it.  Shoulda stuck to your guns, gramps.