Sick Music for the Weekend

If you’ve watched SportsCenter for the past week, you’ve heard this song.  It’s Bad Meets Evil “Fast Lane.”  Bad Meets Evil consists of Eminem and Royce da 5’9”.  Royce has been one of my favorites for years, so seeing him succeed with Eminem is good to see.  This song is siiiiick, video is crazy too.

Pusha-T hook up with Tyler the Creator of Odd Future and put out “Trouble on my Mind.”  Definitely a combination of emcees most people didn’t see coming, but they came off dope together.  Had this chorus stuck in my head for more than a week now.

Wale and J. Cole team up for “Bad Girls Club.”  Both emcess only know how to put dope shit out, but Wale and Cole have been putting out straight HEAT lately.  Can’t wait for their respective albums to drop.  “Bad bitches get loowwwwwww.”

MTV News 1995 Discusses “The Internet”

I love watching videos like this.  It’s just a much more innocent time back then.  No one knew what the internet would turn into.  Alotta people even thought the internet was a fad.  They were appalled at porn of naked women back in ’95.  Now there’s 2 Girls 1 Cup.  People mainly went online to chat with others back then, and send e-mails.  People keep in touch on Facebook and Twitter, but they’re also watching videos of cats and browsing celebrity fan/fiction erotica literature.  The internet will continue to get grosser and weirder and in another 2 decades we’ll look back with fond memory of the time MySpace was cool and Napster and Kazaa were the best shit ever.

 

New England Patriots Acquire Chad Ochocinco From Bengals

After getting Haynesworth early this morning, the Patriots announced a trade for Chad Ochocinco.  And this is the only thing you need to know about this trade, straight from Chad and Belichick’s mouths…

ESPN – “It became a relationship beyond a football player and coach,” Ochocinco said last September before the Bengals faced the Patriots. “He became a friend of mine.  “He’s one that I look up to tremendously. One who I’ve never played for but who I share the same respect for as if he was my own head coach.”  Belichick returned the compliment.  “It’s an odd couple,” Belichick said at the time, drawing some laughter from media members. “But in the end, I think we have a lot of things in common.  “I like Chad. I like him as a player, I like him as a person. I like his enthusiasm and the fun he has in football, and how he competes on the football field.”

He’s ready to play for a winner.  Not only that, but he has Belichick’s complete confidence and support.  They’re friends for crying out loud.  If you think for one minute that Brady and Ochocinco aren’t going to light it up for the next 3 years, you’re retarded.  Patriots know how to motivate delinquent players and re-mold them into ideal players.  We can go down the list of athletes that have come here with attitude problems and did phenomenal here, but that’s not necessary.  All you need to know is that In Belichick We Trust.  If he thinks he can take Haynesworth and Ochocinco and get the best out of them, I’m all for it.  It’s looking to be a pretty entertaining season.  I’m predicting at least 5 flawless touchdown celebrations.

ESPN Keeps Camera Rolling as Child is Abducted

I’m so glad ESPN kept the camera rolling on this little punk talking about the X Games.  Meanwhile we have a child getting Amber Alerted right in front of our eyes on national television.  How is a large black man allowed to drag a small white child 20 feet in a park with no one noticing?  Kid’s obviously terrified and dragging it’s feet the whole time.  And no one walks over to see what’s up?  Maybe ESPN was trying to make a sport out of this or something?  Let the pedo get like a 3 minute head start before they called in Usain Bolt and Zdeno Chara to find this motherfucker?  Totally might be on to something there.  ESPN would cover the shit out of that.

Gametime!: Serial Killer or Rapper?

As a lifelong fan of hip-hop I can tell you firsthand that the line between serial killer and rapper is a thin one.  Not only are they both chemically imbalanced, but both glorify bloody murders and carnage.  Taken out of context, its almost impossible to tell which is which.  So let’s get it started…Read the quote and guess whether it was spit on a hot ass beat, or mumbled into a microphone behind plate glass window.

1.  “When this monster entered my brain, I will never know, but it is here to stay.”

2.  “I didn’t want to hurt them, I only wanted to kill them.”

3.  “This is no way to be.  Man ought to be free.  That man should be me.”

4.  “Lets buy guns and kill those kids with dads and moms with nice homes.”

5.  “[I’m not] trying to shoot you, I’m trying to chop you into pieces and eat you.”

Keep reading for the answers…

 

Tour de France Cyclist Punches Fan in Face During Race

So I might have been completely wrong about the Tour de France.  Bicycling was always boring to me.  Like, how could something be so entertaining when I mastered that shit when I was 8?  But it seems like every day I hear about some dude getting hit by a car, or getting slashed the fuck up by barbed wire.  Now we have fans dressed like doctors getting a straight right to the face by Alberto Contador trucking uphill.  If the Tour de France could guarantee something like this happening every half hour or so, I’d become the biggest bicycling fan in the world.  Maybe it’s sort of like Nascar, where they just watch for the inevitable crashes.  These bicycling fans might be on to something here.  Ehhh, who knows, just that quickly I became bored with this sport.

Patriots Acquire Albert Haynesworth From Redskins

In a surprise move, the New England Patriots have agreed to trade for troublesome DT Albert Haynesworth.  All they have to give up is a 5th round pick in 2013.  Pretty easy to see why they did this, even though Haynesworth is, at best, a lunatic.  We need help in the pass rush, and he has shown in the past he can contribute there.  Last year he couldn’t pass a conditioning test, and he’s in trouble with the law every other night.  But we’ve taken risks on Randy Moss and Corey Dillon and they’ve turned their images around under Belicheck.  We’ll see if this one pays off too.

Woman Tattoos Entire Body After Divorcing Husband

 

DailyMail –  A mother-of-two has celebrated her divorce by getting a full-body tattoo – from her new boyfriend.  Jacqui Moore, 41, has had 85 per cent of her flesh inked with a continuous black and grey ‘full body-suit’ tattoo, a process which has taken eight years.  Just her left armpit, half her right leg and most of her face has been left uncovered.  But she hopes to complete the tattoo by getting the final 15 per cent of her body daubed next Spring.  Jacqui, a gardener at a private school in Oxford, fell for tattooist Andreas Moore, nicknamed ‘Curly’, 45, after divorcing from her husband Martin in March 2003 after a seven-year marriage.  She said: ‘I went to get a new tattoo to symbolise my freedom and the new chapter in my life. When I got to the parlour I met Curly and we fell in love and he has been tattooing me since.

So Jacqui’s ex-husband must have done something extremely fucked up in order for her to do this to herself, right?  I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone going to these extremes after a break-up.  Usually, you hit the gym, buy some new clothes, spend a little time on yourself and get back out there and try again.  Not Jacqui.  She walks into a tattoo parlor on a quest for symbolic freedom, falls in love with a dude and gets 85% of her body inked up by him.  That’s pretty hardcore.  I’m all for tattoos, I think they’re awesome.  Absolutely one of the best ways to express yourself in my opinion.  But this seems forced to me.  It’s like she fell in love with the tattoo artist and just kept going to him to get tattooed like that was the only thing she knew she could do to get his attention.  Now she’s littered head to toe in some pretty out there tattoos, and she’s only 41.  I’d really, really, really, like to know what her ex-husband did to her.  No way he isn’t directly responsible for this type of craziness in her head.

Mayor, 84, Says Pot Growing in Yard Isn’t Hers

Huffington Post –  The 84-year-old mayor of a central Florida city says someone tried to ruin her reputation by planting marijuana on her property.  Mayor Mary Lee Cook defended herself during an Oak Hill city commission meeting Monday after narcotics agents found pot growing on her land.  Volusia County Sheriff’s spokesman Gary Davidson says Cook has not been charged. He says the incident is under investigation but investigators do not believe the mayor knew the marijuana was there.  Cook says narcotics agents came to her home two weeks ago to check out reports that she was growing marijuana. The plants were found near a kicked-in section of fence near her house.  During Monday’s meeting, Cook said she would not resign. She said she would deal with any further harassment by hiring an attorney.

I’m not buying it, Mary Lee Cook.  There’s no way you don’t know that you have pot growing in your yard.  I’m not saying it’s hers, but it’s totally hers.  At least her husbands.  But to sit there and act like pot growing in your yard is news to you is insulting.  Aren’t you supposed to be a mayor?  Granted, she’s 84 and probably going a little senile, but still.  If this was anyone else in the city you know damn well the “I didn’t know it was there” excuse wouldn’t hold any weight.  If this was your grandmother she’d be busted and thrown in the clink for harvesting.  How dumb do you have to be though to not notice someone coming on your property, planting and cultivating the weed, and then bouncing?  It doesn’t add up Mary Lee…these cops might not be in the know…but I’m onto you.  Wouldn’t surprise me if she had half the squad on payroll.

Is This the Greatest Catch EVER?

I don’t care if this is rugby or not, that is probably the craziest catch I’ve ever seen in my life.  That was Andrew Walker and dude has insane hops!  Seriously didn’t expect that to happen whatsoever…it still seems physically impossible.  He literally piggybacked on top of this guys neck and came down with it with ease.  It was like the dude was flying on some Angels in the Outfield type of shit.  How does he come down with that?  I’ve seen some amazing catches in my day, from NFL to MLB, etc.  But this rugby catch is right up there with all of the greats in sports.