Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Neighbor’s Sign Is Making it Hard For Property to Sell

Daily Mail –  At first glance this rural property in prime horse country looks like a dream home.  But the two storey house in Brighton, Colorado is unlikely to sell any time soon- thanks to a huge sign warning prospective buyers about a nextdoor neighbour from hell.  Titus Terranova, who owns the adjoining property, has taken it upon himself to give prospective buyers the lay of the land.  A bright red sign painted on the side of a caravan on his land warns interested parties about Terranova’s anti-social lifestyle.  The sign reads: ‘WARNING / 3 Rottweilers / Loud Parties / Loud Music / Loud Cars / Anti-Horse / Fireworks / Call for more info.’  Unfortunately for the vendors the sign is clearly visible from the window of their master bedroom and several other vantages that are bound to catch prospective buyers’ attention.  The realtor attempting to sell the home, Renee Lalonde, is at her wit’s end.  Lalonde says previous buyers have turned down the property because of the sign.  But Terranova says he is merely exercising his right to free speech and preventing any future problems in the neighbourhood.  He said: ‘I think I’ve covered the bases. I’m kind of warning people what’s at this house. Let’s make sure were all gonna live around each other and be happy.’  ‘I feel like if I make it pretty clear what’s over here. If you don’t like that don’t buy this house. Move onto the next one.’  Bizarrely Terranova claims he may be helping the vendors’ cause. He explained: ‘This story right here may find a buyer for that house, because there are guys like me all over the place out here. I’m not the only one.’

Every once in awhile I’ll read something about a person so interesting, I have to write about them.  Titus Terranova has completely caught my attention.  This guy is taking home ownership to a new level.  How many times have you moved into a place and thought it was the perfect location?  The neighbors seemed nice and respectful, the schools in the area were great, all of that.  Then the first Friday night you’re in your new home, you’re in the middle of a raging party, getting chased by rottweilers and dodging Roman Candles flying past your head.  If only someone could have warned you!  It’s not gonna be the realtor that tells you your neighbor is an asshole, they just hope you won’t run into him when you’re at the open house.  But Titus Terranova is putting all the cards on the table.  He likes loud music, loud cars, fireworks and dogs that can kill you.  If you don’t like it, you might want to look somewhere else.  This is the greatest thing ever.  Imagine if everywhere you lived you could live with people that were just like you.  If we were up front and told people how we live, I guarantee you that we could be more peaceful.  You could live on a block with nothing but old people, gay people, quiet people, college kids, whatever.  Titus gets it.  He doesn’t want any problems.  Hell, if I had the money to do it, or had any vague interest in moving to Colorado, I’d be his neighbor.  He shoots from the hip and I fucking love it.
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Happy 4th of July

America!  Fuck yeah!  Have a good 4th everyone!  Get shitfaced and try to avoid blowing your hand off with fireworks.  But if you do, totally send me that video.

Top Scientist Claims Humans Will Encounter Aliens by 2031

HuffingtonPost –  A top Russian astronomer claimed Monday that humans will encounter extraterrestrial life by 2031.  “Life exists on other planets and we will find it within 20 years,” the scientist Andrei Finkelstein said, according to the Interfax News Agency.  The astronomer added that 10 percent of known planets circling suns in the galaxy resemble Earth, making life on such planets highly likely, and that aliens are most likely to resemble humans with two arms, two legs and a head, per Reuters.  Finkelstein made the remarks at the opening of the international symposium called “The Search For Extraterrestrial Intelligence” in St. Petersburg, The Voice Of Russia reported. He says he is convinced based on the fundamental laws of life that life exists throughout the universe.

Way to go out on a limb here, Andrei.  I don’t really think you have to be a top scientist in your field to make a prediction like, “in the next 20 years we’re going to encounter fucking aliens.”  Of course that’s gonna happen.  Honestly, how could it not?  We’re advancing exponentially as a species, our technology will make it happen.  But let’s say we don’t encounter E.T. in 20 years.  Oh well, no one will care if he was wrong, no one will remember that shit.  But if Andrei’s prediction comes through BOOM he looks like a genius.  I’m not buying it.  Way to go out there and make such a bold prediction like this, Nostradamus.

Rutgers University Implements Opposite Sex Gay Roommates Program

 

Fox News – New Jersey’s largest university will offer a gender-neutral housing program in three dorms that aims to make the campus more inclusive for gay students.  Starting this fall, gay, lesbian and transgender students at Rutgers University’s New Brunswick campus can choose either male or female roommates under the pilot program.  Heterosexual students will also be permitted to live in rooms with students of the opposite sex. Men and women will share bathrooms.  Rutgers Residence Life director Joan Carbone says the idea came to life after talking with gay, bisexual and transgender students.  “They explained to me how difficult it is to find an accepting roommate,” Carbone told MyCentralJersey.com.  Rutgers students had mixed reactions to the plan.  “I have a lot of guy friends. But I don’t think I would live with them. It would be a little weird,” 22-year-old senior Farah Hussain told the website.  Twenty three-year-old junior Dimitry Vengerovsky believes the pilot project is a good idea.  “When people are adults they can make their own decisions,” he told the website.  The plan acomes after Rutgers drew scrutiny when freshman Tyler Clementi killed himself days after authorities said his dorm roommate used a webcam to capture Clementi in an intimate encounter with a man.

Great news for gay people that want to feel comfortable with opposite sex roommates.  But all I can think about when I hear this is how quickly a program like this would be abused.  First of all, guys will just pretend they’re gay so they can room with a girlfriend or something.  Secondly, I know for a fact some scumbags will pretend to be gay all in an elaborate scheme to have sex with all the girls.  Everyone knows that girls love gay guys.  Their defense is dropped immediately around them because they know he’s not talking to her just to try and get with her.  You know someone is desperate and determined enough to try and pull that off.  Rutgers definitely has the potential to produce a student of that caliber.

Pizza Delivery Man Saves Regular’s Life

USA Today – Memphis, Tenn. – Authorities say a pizza delivery driver who was concerned about a regular customer may have saved the elderly woman’s life.  Domino’s delivery driver Susan Guy told WMC-TV that Jean Wilson has ordered pizza every day for the past three years.  On Monday, Guy said her boss told her Wilson hadn’t called in three days. Guy insisted on going to check on the woman. When no one came to the door, Guy asked a neighbor whether he’d seen Wilson and then called police.  Police broke the door down and found Wilson on the floor. She’d fallen Saturday and couldn’t get to a phone to call for help.  Investigators said it’s possible her pizza-heavy diet may have saved her life.  Late Monday evening, Wilson was listed in non-critical condition at a hospital.

Good thing this lady lived in Memphis.  Southern hospitality saves lives people.  Only there will you see a pizza delivery woman so concerned they haven’t seen a customer, they go all Magnum P.I. on the case.  If a pizza place in Boston doesn’t get their repeat customer 3 days in a row, they send out someone to bomb every mailbox in the entire neighborhood with menus.  They’re not hunting down leads and calling the cops like Susan Guy.  If I had a delivery woman that cared that much about my well being I’d make sure to order from her everyday for 3 years too.  Hell, I’ve ordered from the same three delivery spots for like the past 10 years and I don’t even like them.

9 Year-Old Suspended for ‘Kick Me’ Sign

Daily Mail –  It is a common playground prank, sticking a ‘kick me’ note on another pupil’s back.  But for one 9-year-old New York school boy the common trick has landed him with a two day suspension.  The boy, from Upper East Side PS 158, was spotted sticking a yellow post-it note on the bottom of a fellow pupil inviting others to ‘kick me’.  According to the New York Post, the boy’s mother said he was just ‘playing around’.  The paper reported the School principle Darryl Alhadeff wrote to the parents explaining his actions.  He said: ‘This incident is in violation of the Discipline Code and is classified as ‘infraction A37.”  ‘This will result in a Principal’s Suspension for a period of two days.’  The strict response is a result of New York’s zero tolerance policy on bullying.  Implemented in 2008, the policy was partly a result of several shocking examples of ‘hazing’, or initiations, gone wrong.

I’m seriously getting tired of parents and schools turning every little thing kids do into a huge media blitz on bullying.  Let me make this clear, I don’t condone the kind of bullying that is malicious and hurtful that results in kids being depressed or want to commit suicide.  That’s no joke and those kids should be punished.  But I’m from the old school state of mind where things like this actually are harmless.  It’s a classic “kick me” sign for God’s sake.  It’s not like if someone sees it they run up and lay a huge boot to the kids ass.  Most kids would just giggle a little bit and keep it moving.  But kids are babied nowadays because of shit like this.  It’s like they don’t come with the tough skin my generation grew up with.  If a kid tells someone that little Freddy has cooties, Freddy’s parents get up in arms about it and demand justice.  That’s why this generation is going to grow up to be giant pussies, they get coddled until college.  I know that if I was in school nowadays I’d probably be expelled.  If ‘kick me’ signs get you suspended then I would have been put on trial by now.

Los Angeles Trashes Priceless Banksy Street Art

Daily Mail –  When street artist Banksy arrived in Los Angeles earlier this week, he wasted no time in making his mark on the city.  The elusive artist – who is nominated for an Oscar for his 2010 documentary Exit Through The Gift Shop – is suspected of being behind a number of Banksy-style piece which have appeared on walls and billboards in the city in recent days.  Among these was a depiction of Mickey and Minnie Mouse, which sees Mickey downing a cocktail and putting his arm provocatively around a scantily-clad model, which appeared on a billboard above a petrol station on Sunset Strip.  According to the celebrity website TMZ.com, the image caused great excitement, with a stream of fans visiting the area to admire the work.  However not everybody is such a big fan, it seems. Officials removed the poster from the billboard the following day, despite the site reporting that the petrol station owners had offered to pay $10,000 for it.

So if you don’t know who Banksy is then you must be living under a rock.  This dude is everywhere right now since being nominated for an Oscar.  If you’re oblivious to who Banksy is, he’s a graffiti artist that specializes in stencil work, usually with political or cultural undertones.  He’s basically the Picasso of street art because people freak the fuck out when one of his pieces pop up.  That’s why Los Angeles is fucking retarded.  They have a gas station offering them 10k and don’t think to themselves, “hmmm…maybe they’re onto something here?”  Banksy’s art usually only lasts a few days before someone tags over them or tears them down.  So this thing is literally priceless.  In a few years any kind of official art this guy put out will be worth millions.  His art galleries around the world already earn him $100k.  I’m actually stunned that this was trashed.  I guess when the Lakers start playing like ass the whole city gets pissed and starts damaging priceless pieces of art.

Business Says “Fuck That” to Foul Language

No idea what fucking business this is that posted this but I’ve got to hand it to the fuckers, pretty good shit here.  I mean, fuck, you can’t have your team of assholes running around spouting off at the fucking mouth when customers are all up in their shit.  But this is just another attempt at big business fuckwads trying to silence the entry-level slaves they own.  Oh, I’m sorry assboss, I can’t curse in front of your precious fucking douchebag customers?  You can “excuse me, sir” and “I don’t think you understand” because “I love a challenge.”

Watson Thinks Toronto is in the U.S.

So everyone has been talking about this stupid Watson gimmick they have on Jeopardy right now.  First off, everyone realizes that Jeopardy is only doing this so someone will actually watch Jeopardy, right?  People haven’t watched this shit since Ken Jennings was actually winning on it, because let’s face it, no one had seen it before.  And that’s exactly what’s going on with Watson here.  This “supercomputer” is supposedly smart enough to beat the shit out of that squirrely Ken Jennings.  But in a category titled “U.S. Cities” Watson’s dumb computer brain guessed Toronto.  Pffff.  I’m not buying this thing being the downfall of human intelligence.  I mean, I went to UMass Boston and even I know Toronto isn’t in America.  I could totally beat this thing.

Minister with Tourette’s is….WHOAAAAA!

I know that laughing at this is pretty much guaranteeing that I’ll be dining with the devil in the afterlife.  But with that said I really couldn’t stop.  From the first “whoaaaaa” and giggle to the last, I couldn’t help myself.  I felt like I was in the middle of watching a soccer match that was actually entertaining.  As a matter of fact I think this guy missed his true calling.  He’d be one of the most exciting commentators in the history of broadcast.  Right up there with Johnny Most at least.  “Book of John, chapter eight…Heeyyyyyyyy…ppiissshhh!”  That shit would wake me up in church ten times outta ten.  And the facial expression he made right before he said “sex school” was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.  I would go to this event just to see this minister rock the fuck out of a sermon.  Just amping up the flock and converting the skeptical with the power of uncontrollable shrieks and whoaaa’s.