Monthly Archives: February 2011

Man Sends $200k to Online Girlfriend…That Doesn’t Exist

Chicago Tribune – A 48-year-old west suburban Naperville man never met his online girlfriend, but he didn’t mind sending her cash — $200,000 over about two years.  The Naperville man told police he started the online courtship about two-and-a-half years ago. His name hasn’t been released.  Since the relationship began, he’s wired about $200,000 to her at bank accounts in Nigeria, Malaysia, England and the United States.  The Naperville Sun reports that the man had an ID from the woman that was a sample driver’s license from Florida.  The jig was up this week when the man contacted police to ask for their help in rescuing the woman, who he said had been kidnapped in London.  Police say the man “was in disbelief” when an officer told him his girlfriend didn’t exist.

I refuse to believe someone could be this dumb.  Especially someone that has that much money.  You just send $200k to a “woman” over a 2 year period?  Someone whose voice you’d never heard, face never seen, ass never tapped?  I mean, this guy was obviously balling, but had to have been one of the loneliest men in the world.  Just forking out Benjamins for a few instant messages and e-mails.  I just can’t see how red flags didn’t go up every time he wired money to Nigeria and Malaysia.  And what did this “woman” tell this guy to get him to send so much money?  Cuz I’m about two seconds away from trying to pull this scam off too.

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Austalian Mayor Steps Down After Asking Interpreter for Threesome

Brisbane Times –  MOST men would agree that an opinion on a woman’s chest size is best kept to oneself. But this Sydney mayor is not most men.  Kevin Crameri, awarded an OAM in 1999 for services to local government and the community, has stood down as mayor of Penrith – and faces possible suspension – following an investigation into allegations he behaved inappropriately on an overseas business trip. Mr Crameri was on a three-week trip to East Asia last November, when he allegedly propositioned an interpreter for a threesome and commented on the chest sizes of Asian women.  An independent report, which will be considered at the Penrith Council meeting tomorrow, found he breached the council’s code of conduct 22 times, including holding an interpreter’s hand when he climbed the Great Wall of China and “cuddling” women who wanted photos taken with him.  Mr Crameri, who has been mayor since September 2009 and a councillor for nearly 22 years, declined to comment until the findings of the report are presented to the council.  He allegedly asked an interpreter to come to his room and when she told him she shared a room with another interpreter, said: “I don’t mind, we can have a threesome.”  In a written response to this allegation, Mr Crameri said: “Jokingly, I did say to the interpreter to come to my room, I do not recall any mention of a threesome, but if I did made [sic] a reference to having a threesome, then it was still in the context of sharing jokes.” Mr Crameri also remarked on the ”large busts” of some women. He claims the comments were made to ”reassure” a female member of the delegation after she said she would have trouble finding clothes because Asian women have small busts.

This guy’s ability to open is a work of art.  Kevin Crameri is the kind of guy that goes on international business trips and makes sure he gets laid left and right while there.  Just throwing out a ton of game on a ton of girls and see which one bites.  I mean, he breaks the council’s code of conduct 22 times.  Grabbing interpreter’s hands, cuddling with anyone with a pulse.  This guy would have humped anything in the vicinity.  Good cover about the “joking” thing, but I’m not buying it.  Of course you say its a joke until you get a girl that reacts slutty to it and then its on.  97% of the time you have to play off the joke angle.  The only difference is that this guy gets called out in court because he hated on small interpreter titties.

NBA Rumor: Celts to Buy Out Troy Murphy

ESPN – The Miami Heat and Boston Celtics have emerged as the leaders to sign forward Troy Murphy, sources close to the situation told ESPN.com.  Murphy, who was traded last week to the Golden State Warriors after spending nearly two months in exile with the New Jersey Nets, completed a buyout agreement Sunday, source told ESPN.com. Sources said that the Portland Trail Blazers also expressed interest in Murphy but he is deciding between the two East powers. In a flurry of deals right at last Thursday’s deadline, the Celtics traded three big men and also opened up three roster spots. Part of the strategy, league executives said, was to make room for one or two free agents to be added after buyout season. Murphy is a top choice to fill one of those roles. The Heat have struggled this season with rebounding and scoring from their bench and Murphy would fill a need there. Miami currently has 15 players on its roster and would have to release a player to make room for Murphy. Murphy has not played since Jan. 7 and averaged just 3.6 points and 4.2 rebounds in 18 games for the Nets. But he has a history of being a solid outside shooter and rebounder. He averaged 14.6 points and 10.2 rebounds in more steady minutes last season with the Indiana Pacers.

Everyone panicked when the Celtics dealt 4 players at the trade deadline and didn’t seem to get too much back.  And the fact that 3 of them were big men really rubbed some people the wrong way.  But I’m a firm believer in Danny Ainge and his aggressive style.  Everyone knows he’s waiting to buy out a contract of a player like Troy Murphy, it’s the only reason to let go of so many players at the deadline.  We did it with Cassell, Marbury, and now maybe Troy Murphy.  He’d fit in nicely, and have a good rotation with our big men.  If Miami get him it would be extremely disappointing, and if Ainge wants to get back on the good side of the fans and make up for shipping Perk, he needs to get this deal done.  I like Murphy, and I think if he puts the green on, we’re Finals bound for sure.  People keep forgetting that whenever Pierce or Garnett are off the court, Jeff Green, a starter on a good Thunder team, will be out there.  The fate of our season could be getting someone like Murphy though.

Former British Home Secretary Wants Porn Industry to Teach Sex Ed in High Schools

Daily Mail –  Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith was branded ‘naive’ last night for demanding that the pornography industry funds ‘real’ sex education in schools.  Ms Smith, who claimed Commons expenses for two lewd films watched by her husband, has investigated the porn business for a Radio 5 Live show being aired on Thursday night.  She told the sex industry: ‘Put your money where your mouth is. Fund real sex education in schools, promote safe sex and invest in relationship counselling for those who can’t tell the fantasy from reality.’  But David Turtle, of anti-porn group Mediawatch UK, retorted: ‘The adult entertainment industry is only concerned about its profits. It’s naive to think it is going to be effective in helping teenagers who are at risk from this material.’  Ms Smith, 48, who lost her Redditch seat for Labour at the Election, talks in the show about rows over porn she had with her husband Richard Timney.  She said: ‘Somebody I care a lot about and who cares about me has watched pornography. I have argued with him about it and he takes a different view from me.’  During her research for the show, mother-of-two Ms Smith visited the Erotica porn exhibition, viewed hardcore internet and DVD porn, spent time on an adult film set and talked to male and female porn stars.  She was criticised for publicising the documentary by posing for photos in front of  a sex shop in Soho.

 

I can’t imagine there being a  worse scenario for teaching high school kids about sex.  Besides the fact no guy would listen, just stare, getting relationship counselling from a porn star is at the bottom of my totem pole.  If Jenna Jameson told me how I should nurture my girlfriend and be sensitive to her needs, I would laugh.  I wouldn’t take anyone’s relationship advice seriously if there’s video of them on YouJizz in a bukkake scene.  All they would be able to teach these kids is sexual positions and what gets cum stains out of various clothing.  That’s why Jacqui Smith is retarded.  She seems pretty unstable.  I mean she fights with her husband about porn, about how she hates it, then she devotes her whole time to watching hardcore porn and interviewing gang bang girls.  Then she gets the bright idea that these bright folk teach teenagers about safe sex and relationship growth.  Something is weird about this broad.

Pittsburgh Daycare Raided…Plenty of Drugs and Sex Toys for the Kids

WXPI –  PITTSBURGH — One person was arrested following an undercover drug bust at a day care in Homewood early Friday morning.  During the bust, agents found $6,000 worth of crack cocaine, several bags of sex toys and $4,000 cash.  Reanell Booker,50, who ran the R&B Childcare Services along Rosedale Street, was taken into custody, police said.  Investigators said they found sex toys and pornography sitting around in the children’s playroom when they conducted their raid.  According to police, about 10 to 15 children are enrolled at the day care.   Agents made the arrest at 7 a.m. prior to the children arriving.  One parent who showed up to the daycare to learn that it was shut down said she doesn’t know where she’ll be sending her two young children.  “I just think it’s crazy. I don’t know where I’m going to send my kids now. It was convenient for me,” said the mom.  “I have seen quite a few people who were not attending the daycare in and out all day, said Khedijah Baskin.  Booker is licensed by the state to run the daycare and take care of children. She has no prior arrests on her record.  Booker faces drug charges and could face child endangerment charges, said police.  Booker was released from jail late Friday.She faces a preliminary hearing next week.

 

Okay, so the biggest question I have about this story is how could this go on without a parent noticing?  Are these parents so eager to get their kids to daycare that they just throw them in the door and bounce?  Because that has to be the only way a daycare could be operational with sex toys in the playroom.  You can’t mistake The Annihilator for building blocks or butt plugs for Hot Wheels.  And that’s not even the most disturbing part.  How do you not know your daycare is a dope spot?  Are you kidding me?  People without any kids coming in and out of the building at all hours?  The obliviousness of these 10-15 parents is beyond me.  You have to show absolutely zero interest in your child’s safety and well-being if you send them to a daycare that turns out to be a dope spot run by a kinky ass Reanell Booker.  The crackheads copping at the daycare probably saw more of the inside of it then any parent had.

Would You Hit It? (Try Not to Throw Up)

 

Oh….my…God.  I’ve heard of apple bottoms, but this needs to be called something else.  Apple orchard maybe?  And you can’t call this thing a tramp stamp.  This is like a tramp license plate.  I don’t know…But here’s the question….Would you hit it?

 

Finland Has a Condom Advertisement….It’s Awesome

This is the exact scenario that runs through my head every time I’m with a lady friend.  The thought of having a kid just punking me out in public enrages me.  And everyone without a kid always say, “well why don’t you do something about your kid?  Spank him or something.”  That’s easy to say if you don’t live with that terror 24/7.  By the time a parent faces a tantrum like this in public, they’ve already dealt with the same shit countless times that day.  Parents are always defeated and miserable.  Of course no one wants that.  That’s why Finland is pushing this angle for condoms, and America needs to jump on board.  With all this 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom shit on TV, it glorifies having a kid for teenagers.  They don’t realize how quickly life beats you down once that kids pops out.  If the Trojan Man was in commercials chasing after one of these devil children, condom sales would go through the roof.

Meet Fat Matt, World’s Largest Contortionist

Fat Matt, I am now your biggest fan.  Just splitting and rolling like a motherfucker.  I’m lucky if I can sit down Indian style and this guy’s doing some Circus de Soleil shit.  How can you not freak out when you see this kind of shit?  If Fat Matt was at Park Street rolling around like this it would be pandemonium.  Chants, girls flashing their tits, the whole nine yards.  We’d treat him like the star he is.  Instead he’s cheapening his art by performing for ungrateful bastards.  Did you see how quick that teacher got those kids away from him?  Just person after person ignoring this guys God-given talent of making people feel uncomfortable.  So Fat Matt, why perform for golf claps?  Come to Boston and watch your star grow.

“What is….Pussy Furry?”

And people say I have a dirty mind.  Since when has it been acceptable for a game show contestant to buzz in without the answer, and then immediately retreat into tourettes?  If a guy like me buzzed in on Jeopardy and answered “Pussy Furry” to any question, I’d be thrown off the podium and served with a restraining order by Alex Trebek.

Louis C.K. Asks Donald Rumsfeld if He’s a Lizard Person…A Lot

(the good stuff starts at 2:20)

When you have the balls to ask the former Secretary of Defense if he’s ever tasted human flesh, you’re awesome in my book.  He’s just staring into the abyss and mocking the devil, all in a day’s work for Louis.  And asking if Rumsfeld and Cheney have ever eaten Mexican babies is the best question I’v ever heard in my life.  The video’s a little long but there aren’t many parts where Louis isn’t heckling him.    For those of you that don’t know how awesome Louis C.K. is, shame on you.  His drunken Tweets about Sarah Palin are epic. The amount of times he flat out asks Rumsfeld if he’s a lizard person boggles my mind.  I wonder why Donald thought it would be a good idea to do an interview on Opie and Anthony?  These are the same guys that got fired for encouraging a couple to have sex in a church.  When a guy like Rumsfeld goes into an interview like this, he deserves to get asked lizard people questions all day.  That’s why Louis C.K. is the shit.

PS – The last 2 minutes of video is a great recap if you don’t wanna sit through the whole thing, even though its worth it.