Raccoons Invade School, Pee on Students…”Nothing to See Here”

Newser – Are raccoons the new bullies? In one Florida middle school, yes. CBS12 reports on an infestation so bad that parents started calling the station for help, telling it that the wild creatures had been in residence for weeks, and that the school hadn’t sent home warnings. Even worse: One raccoon reportedly peed on a student. “Something wet started dripping down on his backpack, then eventually on him,” confirmed a student at Woodlands Middle School in Lake Worth. Grosser still: “You’re sitting at your desk, doing your class work, and all of a sudden there’s liquid running from the ceiling,” one mother explained. Palm Beach County Health Department inspectors confirmed the invasion, and reports that it gave the school an unsatisfactory grade on Feb. 9. Now the school has until March 9 to get rid of the animals. Here’s the school principal’s comforting reaction: “Raccoon activity is confined to a small portion of the school building and does not impact a large number of students. Therefore, mass notification to parents at this time has not taken place.”

I don’t know what the big deal is here, these parents need to quit bitching, .  The principal of this middle school clearly has it under control.  So what there’s been raccoon’s roaming the halls for a few weeks now?  So what health inspectors gave the school an unsatisfactory grade?  So what there’s raccoon piss dripping all over the kids?  The principal of Woodlands Middle School is on the case and he has a month to figure shit out.  These parents have their panties in a bunch because no one notified them that raccoon’s were dropping in on these classes?  Principal just comes right out and says “Whoa, slow your role.  These ‘coons are only pissing on a few students, we’re looking into it.”  That’s the type of PR response that just turns the story on its ears.  This principal can man my ship any day.  He sees raccoons pissing on kids’ heads, laughs it off and keeps it moving.  Nothing to see here, just a little raccoon piss folks.

PS – Whole time I just pictured Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia laughing about raccoon meat.