Great White Kills Diver Because of Worst Skipper Ever

Huffington Post – Police say a diver has been killed by two great white sharks off the south Australian coast.  Police Insp. Glen Sickerdick told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio the abalone diver was surfacing Thursday when he was attacked near Port Lincoln in South Australia state.  An ambulance service spokeswoman told Australian Associated Press the skipper of the dive boat saw the attack and returned alone to Port Lincoln where he was treated for shock.  Sickerdick says a search for the diver’s remains will begin Friday.

Okay, I’m not going to pretend to know what it’s like to witness a shark attack happen right in front of my eyes.  I hate the ocean.  I know what lives out there, I watch Shark Week.  The way I look at it is I don’t go roaming around jungles, dancing around and causing a scene, because I’m pretty sure a panther would attack me for playing in his yard.  Same thing applies to the ocean and sharks.  Know where you never have to worry about shark attacks?  Boston.  But back to this story, which angered me.  I’m not saying there’s much this skipper could have done to save this diver’s life.  I mean, how do you kill two great white sharks as they ravish someone?  I’m guessing it involves two pressurized air tanks and a sniper.  But what you don’t do in this situation is go into shock and return to the port empty handed.  Who knows how this shit really went down?  Maybe the skipper kicked him off the side of the boat to save himself.  Maybe he hated said diver and threw him into the water with a bucket of chum.  But back in the day, good old Skipper would have saved Gilligan’s life every single time.  This skipper not doing anything is suspect.

PS – Glen Sickerdick may be the best name I’ve ever heard.  Don’t be surprised if I go by Sickerdick from now on.