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Why the World Hates America: “The Slobstopper”

Bibs aren't just for babies anymore, huh?  Jesus Christ.  This is exactly why people laugh at America.  We're a superpower whose population consists of people that actually would buy this product.  How do you expect to be respected in the UN when you're representing people who buy Snuggies and ShamWows.  And the people that make this product are assholes for this commercial, straight up.  Okay, you wanna make a bib for adults to wear around because they're retarded and can't handle drinking or eating like a normal person, fine.  But don't make it seem like girls are giving you the "fuck me" eyes when they see you made the right move and wore a bib before you tackled your morning coffee.  Any girl that sees a guy in a bib is walking the other way immediately 95% of the time.  And guess what?  People are still gonna buy this thing no matter how ridiculous it looks.  Someone just saw that commercial and said "finally!"  And that scares me.  It really proves that we as a country, species, etc. are de-evolving at a rapid rate.  It's only a matter of time before we go backwards as a society and start shitting the bed.  I'm warning you now America, if I see anyone with one of these on I'm getting a picture, you'll be on the site, and you'll be ridiculed.  Also, I'll probably throw something at you to test the durability of the slobstopper.