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WTF of the Day: Monkey Tail Beards on Hipsters

So this is a new fad I guess?  Fucking hipsters.  I really can’t stand people that wear shit or do shit like this with their hair or facial hair just for the attention.  There really isn’t another reason to go out in public with something like this on your face.  Its like they are so weird socially that they think this is a good conversation piece or some shit.  Like its the only way they can think of to get someones attention.  And instead of it working like they want and making it seem like they’re funny or crazy, it makes you look like a douchebag that gets made fun of a lot.  I’m a beard man myself, but not even I can back this shit.  It’s just annoying.  After 5 minutes of talking to someone looking like this you’d want to stab him in the throat.  And here’s how the conversation would go…

  • First 30 seconds, awkward laughter while talking about monkey tail beard
  • 1st minute, mentions his favorite indy-pop-rock-emo band, asks what your favorite band is, he scoffs
  • 3rd minute, mentions how his local internet cafe is superior to Starbucks
  • 4th minute, discusses why skinny jeans are better than baggy or regular fit
  • 5th minute, you stab him in the neck with your keys

So you’ve been warned, creepy monkey tail beard freaks…if I see you in public I will most likely bottle you right over the head.  I have a feeling I’m gonna see one of these guys in downtown Boston soon.  Probably an Emerson kid too.  I’m waiting patiently.