Category Archives: Girls

Selena Gomez Tattoos Justin Bieber’s Name on Wrist

Wow, Bieber really has this chick wrapped around his finger, huh?  I’ll see a YouTube video of him doing something like playing basketball against Steve Nash, and she’s there on the sideline cheering him on.  When he’s on the VMA red carpet, she’s there interviewing him about his snake.  Pretty easy to see that this chick is headed for heartbreak.  And she’ll have this as a nice reminder of how she thought she fell in love when she was 18 to a pop star.  There’s no way a kid like Bieber is staying tied down for long, I don’t care how hot his famous girlfriend is.  There’s one rule to tattoo’s I live by and it looks like Selena’ Gomez will learn this the hard way: No names.  Unless they are deceased or family, no names.  It’s bad luck.  Ah well, live and learn right?  I just hope she can handle laser removal treatments.

Advertisements

Female Reading Group Goes Topless in New York Parks

Huffington Post – The Outdoor Co-Ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society started “making reading sexy” in mid-August, venturing to city parks and leafing through fantastical fiction together while exposing their bare breasts in the summer sun.  “The overall purpose of the group is for girls who want to take advantage of the legality of being topless in New York to be able to, while reading books. Along with bare-breasted sunbathing being something that we enjoy, we also have noticed that despite female toplessness being legal, there are very few who take advantage of it. We are hoping to go from this being something taboo to something of social inconsequence.”

Hate to admit it, but New York is onto something here.  You mean to tell me that it’s legal for girls to go topless wherever they want?  That’s pretty awesome and European of you, New York.  And I love this female group of pulp fiction fans jumping on board and baring their tits in public.  I was an English major and I like boobs, I’d love to join your club.  It doesn’t matter what you’re reading.  I’ll be there.  It’s actually probably best I don’t live anywhere near this type of shit.  You wouldn’t be reading half as many blogs from me.  I’d be down at the park, reading some shitty pulp mags staring at tits.  It would be terrible.

 

Ali Lohan Looks Like an Alien at 17

Ouch.  This isn’t a good look, Ali.  Now I know you gotta kick it up a notch with the crazy when you’re living in the shadow of your fucktastic family.  But getting 56 cosmetic surgeries on your face when you’re 17 isn’t the way to do it.  Sure your big sis is a train wreck at full speed.  You’re dad is certifiably insane.  Your mom is a lunatic.  I can see why you may want to try and change your facial appearance so as to not look like your family.  Pretty solid logic actually.  Sure, you may look like the Cat Woman, but at least no one will call you a Lohan.

Pregnant Woman and 2 Men Try to Rob Race Track to Replace Their Tires

AZ Family –  PHOENIX. — A pregnant woman is in the hospital after she broke into Turf Paradise and crawled through a ventilation space, in hopes of making her way to the race track’s money room, according to police.  The woman, along with two men snuck into Turf Paradise, near 15th Avenue and Bell Road, about an hour before opening time, on Sunday.  Police say the suspects threw together a plan just a few hours before.  “Overnight these individuals were driving a vehicle and hit a curb and somehow damaged two of their tires. We understand they had concocted this plan to break into the Turf Paradise this morning and break into the cash box,” said Sgt. Steve Martos with Phoenix Police.  One of the men was armed with a flare gun.  Police say they men hoisted the woman up through the crawl space to travel about 50 feet, but the flimsy ceiling tiles gave way in two different spots.  Security noticed the clamor and called police who arrested the men.  Fausto Camargo, 19, and Michael Darling, 42, were held for 2nd degree burglary. Darling also faces drug possession charges.  Officials finally convinced the woman to come down, but she didn’t go straight to jail instead telling police she was 5 months pregnant, and felt that perhaps she might be going into labor.

What an effort!  Look, I’m no criminal, so I’m not going to critique this trio for their crackpot idea to rip off a race track.  But I do have a few things that I need to bring up, because I’m Sick Buck, that’s what I do.  Okay, so you pop two tires on your shaggin wagon.  All you have is a flare gun and the eye of the tiger.  You decide to rob from a race track’s money room.  Alright, I’m still with ya, you crazy criminals.  Right up until they decide the person that should crawl through the air vent is the same person that’s 5 months pregnant.  Now, I don’t know how big these two guys were that were with her, but I’m assuming they must have been morbidly obese at best.  That’s the only way I see them logically plotting for a pregnant chick to climb through a flimsy air vent.  I mean, one of these guys was a teenager.  Why the fuck wasn’t he up there?  Rookie mistake.  This could have gone down like Oceans 11.  Instead it went down like Oceans 11 if the tiny Asian guy that didn’t speak English was the one calling the shots.

 

4-Year Old Girl Drives Car Through Busy Street in China…and She’s Good?

Wow.  That was the most unexpected thing I thought I was going to see today.  Some things you just never expect to see in your lifetime.  The Cubs winning a World Series, flying cars, time travel.  Seeing a 4-year-old Chinese girl driving down a busy road, and NOT dying in a horrific crash would be right up there.  I mean, this girl is merging, maintaining speed and observing the rules of the road with the best of them.  Just completely shattering the stereotype that Asians are bad drivers.  Kids these days.  When I was younger I had a Big Wheel.  This chick gets to drive mom and dad around town.  If she wasn’t dancing while merging or sucking on a pacifier by the end of the video I would have thought it was a little Chinese midget driving.  Just another sign of the whats to come.  China is overtaking us rapidly…one tiny adult at a time.

Oh Look, Lady Gaga’s Doing Something Weird Again…She’s a Man

 

So Lady Gaga showed up to the VMAs dressed as a guy.  It’s no coming out of an egg shell or wearing a meat suit, but it’s fucking weird either way.  She referred to herself as Jo Calderone, apparently a male alter-ego of hers.  Right.  I don’t get it with this chick.  She has talent, but she goes out of her way to be completely batshit insane.  I never bought it once that she was as weird as she acted.  No one decides they’re gonna wear pork chops and steaks or come out of a cocoon and thinks its a normal decision.  It’s all shock value with this chick.  But I guess it works for her.  She’s making millions and got me to write a blog about her.  Fuck.

3 Women Civil Right Workers Fired For Giving Employees Nicknames

DailyMail –  Three women civil rights workers have been fired for sending hundreds of catty emails giving workmates derisory nicknames such as ‘Psycho’ and ‘Monster’ and forwarding photographs making fun of fat people and Wal-Mart customers.  The Iowa Civil Rights Commission employees were axed after their boss discovered the messages sent while they were supposed to be investigating discrimination complaints.  Tiffanie Drayton, Michele Howard and Wendy Buenger called their supervisor Don Grove ‘Teen Wolf’ and the commission’s executive director Beth Townsend, ‘Night Ranger’.  They also criticised colleagues’ looks, social skills and mannerisms, quoted vulgar rap lyrics and received and sent offensive pictures — all while they were supposed to be working on housing and employment cases.  The nicknames the trio dreamed up for their colleagues included ‘Monster,’ ‘Psycho,’ stoned intern, ‘Roid Rage,’ ‘Rainman,” ‘Extreme Makeover,’ ‘Homeless McGree” and ‘albino.’  Townsend said the emails were so frequent, they likely took up a majority of Drayton’s workday.

Well this is a damn shame.  I’m standing firmly behind these ladies in their fight to get their job back.  This is an outrage.  How can you ban people from talking shit about their coworkers?  It’s what we do.  We work with people, make friends, and talk shit about how incompetent the others there are.  And to be honest I’m scared as hell that these ladies got fired for calling people “psycho” and “monster.”  Really?  That’s an offense worthy of being fired?  Shit.  If they think that’s bad then I pray to God no one records the shit I say at work about people.  But that’s what it’s all about.  I can’t imagine working in a place where I have to worry about gossiping or talking about how the new guy is as useful as Hellen Keller.  Look, it’s not like these chicks were saying this stuff to their face.  It was just in some emails they sent each other during work hours.  What’s the big deal?  Hey, let the sinless cast the first stone.  Anyone that says they don’t make fun of their coworkers is a god damned liar.

Reader’s Digest Really Has This as an Advice Column? Get the Fuck Outta Here

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.  Jeanne Marie Laskas must be the dumbest woman to have a featured reoccurring column in any publication.  I understand guys have bad habits, we do dumb things and are generally not as caring as women.  But this bitch thinks she can train a man like a dog and emasculate him by yelling “Stop” and “now stand there until I walk through” because she doesn’t like him going through doors first?  Well fuck that.  For every woman that reads that article I hope 2 men read this one.

Guys, don’t let women emasculate you like this.  It’s retarded.  These girls watch a few episodes of Oprah and get empowered and feel like everyone should treat them like a princess.  Now I’m not saying all girls are like this.  But the ones that get upset enough about a guy walking through a door first deserves to get thrown through said door.  They say chivalry is dead.  Maybe it is.  But this isn’t the 1950’s.  Women are all for equality and being on an even keel with men.  But then they bitch and moan when you don’t open a damn door?  Is it that big of a deal ladies?  If a man enters a room before you do you feel like he’s taking the spotlight off of you?  I really don’t get it.

Here’s a little tip for my female readers (if they exist).  If you want to be treated like a princess, don’t be a fucking bitch.  That’s really how simple it is.  If you don’t worry about the small stuff, guys will be appreciative of the headaches you don’t give them.  They’ll pretty much do anything you want them to if you don’t act like they are required to do it.  I swear to God if a woman ever tried to yell at me in public for not opening a door or not pulling a chair out for her, I’d lose my shit and make the evening news.  Fact.

Seen on Buzzfeed.

What I Like: Redheads

Next up on my list of favorite things in the world?  Redheads.  I know a lot of you may be surprised.  You probably pegged me for a dumb blonde type, right?  Hey, I had my phases.  Blondes came and went.  Brunettes are always there.  But for me, redheads are so gorgeous, and I honestly don’t know why.  Maybe it’s hidden deep inside my Irish genetic makeup.  Perhaps generations of Sick Buck’s have passed on a dominant trait to stop and stare at a beautiful redhead.  I can’t really explain it.  But I swear, every time I spot a redhead, I give her a second or third glance.  Ask my friends.  They know my obsession with them.  If they come into my workplace, someone will give me a holler so I can creep a little bit and get a good look in at her.  Hey, I’m not above it.  The way I look at it, I’m just trying to do some research to figure out why I’m so obsessed.

My mind can comprehend a few simple facts about redheads…

1) Natural redheads will always be sexier than girls that dye their hair red.  If it’s dyed, fine, I’m obviously gonna stare at you still.  But I think a big thing for me with redheads is the rarity of them.  When blondes and brunettes go out and dye their hair red, they want that attention.  I’m not buying it.  Don’t get me wrong, a lot of girls look really good as a redhead, but it’s usually a phase.  I’m in it for the longevity.

2) If you’re a redhead, you almost always go up 2 points on a scale of 1-10.  Don’t ask me why, I can’t explain it.  If a blonde walked by me I thought was a 6, turned out to be wearing a wig and walked by me again as a redhead?  BOOM, she’s an 8.  It’s simple math in my mind, but I completely understand if it confuses others.

3)  Redheads AREN’T gingers.  It’s cool nowadays to bash gingers.  But most people use this term as a derogatory blanket for all redheads.  They’re wrong.  Gingers are very pale, and very freckled.  Not all redheads are gingers.  This is important to note, because sometimes gingers turn me off completely.  Not even the red hair can save them.

4)  Redheads are rare.  This is most likely the main reason I’m infatuated with them.  For every 1 redhead you see, you see 100 other blondes and brunettes.  That’s why I’m doing double and triple takes every time one crosses my path.

In closing, I still can’t really explain this fascination.  Maybe that’s why it’s so high on my list of likes.  I guess what it all comes down to is rarity.  Blondes and brunettes are a dime a dozen.  A hot redhead is rare.  Like seeing a unicorn or something.  So when one passes my way, I’m taking in that beauty.  Give me a redheaded Irish girl any day of the week and you won’t hear a peep out of me.  Until then, I’ll be staring and drooling like always.

Woman Kills Husband For Forgetting Her Birthday

DailyMail–  A woman killed her husband because he forgot her 45th birthday.  Lyalya Tupikova told police that her husband Khalpik failed to remember her special day before going to work in the morning.  When he returned home again from his office job, she was expecting a bunch of flowers and a present – but he brought nothing.  Even when she cooked a candlelit dinner for two, he was oblivious to her big day.  ‘It was all too much for her and suddenly during the meal she seized a kitchen knife and stabbed him just above the heart,’ said a police spokesman in a village near Astrakhan in southern Russia.  The 50-year-old collapsed and died soon afterwards from severe blood loss.  Tupikova confessed her guilt and is now awaiting sentencing.

What a way to go, huh?  This guy’s only crime was being guilty of forgetfulness, something every human man has done.  Multiple times.  Daily.  Ladies, do you know how much pressure it is for us to remember every single date you shove into our heads?  Honestly.  I have trouble remembering those things and I’m reminded of them constantly by Facebook.  This guy is 50 and from Russia.  That’s two huge things going against him here.  Granted, it was his wife’s birthday.  He probably should have remembered.  But we don’t know the whole story here.  Maybe she didn’t mention her birthday was coming up for a month?  Maybe she doesn’t like making a big deal about birthdays and never talked about it.  Hell, this guy could have had a surprise gift waiting for her and she jumped the gun and killed him.  We’ll never know.  The only thing we can take from this is how important these dates are to women.  If someone forgot my birthday, cool.  I’m headed toward the wrong side of my 20’s and would be glad if people didn’t remind me about getting older.  Not women.  They take this shit seriously, fellas.  So do yourself a favor and beat those dates into your head before you get a knife to the heart.